Module 1 Overview
So what are we doing in this module called Illuminate?
In order to find the way to our destination on a map, we first need to establish where we are. If we don’t know where we are, we are considered “Lost”. This is true also for our personal lives. Thus the first part of this module is focussed on shining a light on where you are now. When you are clear about this you will have a sound understanding that will help you establish the new attitudes, behaviours and habits you would like to develop to lead you towards your future goals.
You will be looking at your priorities, where you are leaking energy, your values and how these can be met on a daily basis. You will also be identifying blocks and barriers to you shining and the masks you may have been wearing in your life. You will be looking at your self worth, learning how to be still and calm and access your intuition. This will be broken up over the 4 weeks.
There is also an audio 10 minute affirmation MP3 that you can listen to each morning and night when you wake up and before you go to sleep. This will assist your subconscious mind to integrate new belief systems and attitudes. You can purchase the companion Meditation CD from here: Meditations for Self Empowerment
So, let’s get started!!
Week 1- Reflect
Welcome to week one.
This week we start with where are you now and where do you want to be.
Activity 1: - Where am I now?
Please write down all the attitudes, behaviours and circumstances that you believe are blocking you from achieving your visions.
Eg, I don’t deserve it, I don’t have anything unique to offer, I don’t have any money, I don’t have any time, I don’t have the support I need, I cant be bothered, its too hard… etc.
Now that you have done this, go back over each belief and rewrite it as a positive opposite and a constructive belief. What could you change it to? Eg, ‘Im not worth it’ becomes ‘ I deserve to be happy’.
Each time you find yourself having the same old pattern of thinking or beliefs about yourself substitute the new positive ones. Keep doing this daily and you will feel things change. You are the only thing you have control over so start with you and how you deal with and approach life. New habits and attitudes take at least 3 months to become embedded so practice and be as mindful as possible of what thoughts are inhabiting your mind. Happiness really is a state of mind.
“for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so”. Shakespeare Hamlet, Act II, Scene ii
Now write down what each area is like in your life now -
Self love and self esteem
Relationships with others
Confidence & sense of empowerment
Financial situation
Health
Career/passions
Time flexibility & socialising
Overall lifestyle
and how satisfied you are with each segment, then write down what you want your future to look like. Imagine if you could have anything you want. Think big in terms of how you want to feel. Think about if you had 24 hours to live, what would be your regrets, what would you have focussed on in your life?
Now that you have completed this, look at it and imagine with pictures, feelings and as much life as possible, what your life will be like when you have the future that you have listed. Look at this future list each day or visualise it in your mind in colour and feeling and see yourself there. You may even like to cut out pictures and paste them onto a board, or create a collage on your computer or even a short video to inspire you. If you would like to see a video example, check out my you tube channel (link) and click on the ‘making powerful visions’ video.
Activity 2: - My blocks and barriers
When you think about what you want your future to be, what comes up as being in the way? What attitudes, circumstances and behaviours do you think are blocking your visions from being a reality? Remember most things are possible. People have flown to the moon, unhappy people have become happy and people with little have become abundant.
Please fill out the sheet ‘my blocks and barriers’ as much as you can at this point. Other things may come into your mind, so if they do, just add them in. We will be working on shifting thinking and stuck patterns that may be holding you back. Just remember, What you think (i.e. your beliefs, interpretations or attitudes about people or events around you- (this is completely in your control) Leads to The feelings you have Which in turn leads to The actions you take Which leads to The results you get. So, if you want to change your results, beahviour or feelings, we have to start with how you are thinking about yourself and life.
Activity 3: - My core values
Knowledge of our core values helps guide us in our decisions and choices in life. It helps us stay in alignment with who we are and our deepest self.
Your core values are the inner heart and soul workings of you, and when you listen to and nourish them, it helps you feel fulfilled. It is therefore important to your happiness that you know what your core values are and what you need to do to live in alignment with them. Generally, they don’t change over time.
Core values are things like freedom, peace, love, connection, beauty, vitality.
TASK - list yours and the components of each as well as how you can fulfil these for yourself on a daily basis.
Eg, value- vitality, components- physical, mental, spiritual, how to nourish this daily – fresh organic food, morning yoga, walk in nature.
It is important to have a few ways to nourish each value so if you are unable to do one, you can do another instead.
What did you discover from doing this? Were there some values that you are currently not honouring at all? Are you compromising because of what you believe you ‘should’ do maybe for a relationship, or the children? The irony is, that when we do not nourish ourselves, we are less available and happy for our loved ones, so from this week onwards make a commitment to meeting your own needs and building up your energy deposits. Recharging your batteries. You deserve it.
LISTEN to the MP3 for week 1 “Affirmations for empowerment”
Congratulations on completing week 1 where you reflected on where you are now and what is important to you. See you in week 2 – Release.
Week 2 – Release
Welcome to week 2. How are you feeling? Remember to be gentle with yourself but also consistent in being mindful and focussing on your visions. We need to embed new attitudes and behaviours.
Week 2 is about shedding the things we no longer need. Many habits have been our friends and coping mechanisms over the years and it is not about judging yourself but about recognising what has passed its used by date now and letting it go. It is recognising when we are re-acting and hiding from ourselves and allowing some light to get in and behind the masks we may have worn.
So, this week we will delve a little deeper. If any strong emotions come up that you feel unable to handle on your own, then please seek the support of an experienced counsellor to help you release these without harming yourself or anyone else.
Most emotions can pass quickly when we don’t hold onto them. If you think about a baby who expresses itself from moment to moment. It can be sad one moment and laughing the next. This is because a baby just lets the emotions come and go. As adults we have often been conditioned to hold emotions in, and this is why physical and mental dis-ease occurs. In my many years of working with people both as a bodyworker and counsellor, I have seen too many times to count, the effects of held in emotions on the body mind and spirit.
Activity 1: expressing your truth
So all I want you to do is notice when you are feeling an emotion and allow it out in a respectful way to you and others. Speak your truth without blame or judgement. If you are angry you would state ‘ I am angry right now’ and if you are out somewhere where it is not safe to express this fully then make a deal with yourself that you will give it time and space to come out when you get home. For strong anger, getting on your bed and punching pillow and yelling at whomever you are angry at is a way of releasing it safely, or punching a punching bag.
If the emotion is not as strong, you may decide at home to write a letter that you don’t send, to that person expressing your feelings. Or you can talk to an empty chair and imagine that person is sitting there. The important thing is to express yourself and honour what you are feeling. Eg, I am sad right now, or I don’t really like that idea. Again with the emphasis on not judging or dumping this on others. This is part of increasing your self-acceptance and self-worth. This is learning to love yourself more and have a voice. Eliminate any ‘because’. It is just about expressing how you are feeling in the now. It is courageous I know in our society, but very liberating for you and you also assist others to express themselves too.
Activity 2: releasing outdated belief systems
One of the most aging and debilitating things is stress, and stress is most often self-imposed. We have learnt how to be stressed by thinking we have to, must be or should be a certain way often from society, media, parents, church, school or wherever and it is important to do an inventory of these beliefs and whether you want to subscribe to them or not. Many times you have inherited them and they may have passed their used by date. Try asking ‘who says I should?’ think about what you really want to do or say, from the authentic part of you and say that.
Fill out the sheet entitled ‘ my shoulds, musts and have to’s’ (link). What did you notice? What did you change? How do you feel? Now be mindful of all these sneaky old beliefs that creep in during your day and replace them with your new ones. This will help you feel more empowered and honouring what you actually believe deep down, not what you are told to believe. This is also an aspect of self love.
Activity 3: releasing judgements
Building upon what we have done already, this exercise is about becoming aware of the judgements we have about ourselves and others. We often have many. These can be attitudes we have inherited from growing up or from the people around us. This is what ‘culture’ is. It is the unseen and assumed belief systems of a group of people. These assumptions can be related to privilege, race, religion, status, ethnicity and many other aspects of our lives. For this exercise, please read and follow the information below: ‘positive thoughts, intentions and actions’.
Positive thoughts, intentions and actions
Buddhism talks of having right action, thoughts and words and this makes sense, for when we gossip, judge or are negative, this in turn hurts our own heart and physical body. We suffer from dis-ease and this impacts every organ. On a big picture level, given that we are all part of the same fabric of life and are made of the same ‘stuff’, hurting others, hurts ourselves.
Things and people grow and flourish when they are cared for and nourished. Remaining positive in our thoughts, respectful in our behaviour towards ourselves and others allows us to transform and others to be given the same opportunity. This in turn draws more positivity into our sphere of life. Try it and see.
When we show love, patience, compassion, understanding and tolerance of others on their journey, and seek to support and encourage them to grow and love, then the result will be a powerful positive force. Add to this refraining from participating in abuse of ourselves, the planet or others, and we have gone a long way to healing our own and other’s hearts, bodies and minds. We can lead by example.
Always ask yourself “what is the most loving thing I can do for myself and others right now”, and do that. Focus on and nourish strengths and positives.
Activity:
This week, pay attention to what judgements you may be making about yourself and others. If you are watching TV, do you fall into the trap of judging other’s clothes, behaviour? Have you got caught in gossip and speaking negatively about someone? Thoughts and words are very powerful so as you notice any judgements, substitute a positive comment or thought instead. You will always be able to find a positive in any situation or person. This is your challenge.
Even the worst things that can happen to us have a silver lining. Ask yourself how you can find more love for yourself and for others each day.
Start with giving yourself and others only compliments and thankyou’s and feel how it transforms things.
What did you notice at the end of the week? Did you get caught in gossip? Did you put yourself down a lot? Call yourself stupid? Call somebody else stupid? How did you speak to the people closest to you? Did you respect them? Did you respect yourself? How did you go finding something positive and constructive to say about yourself and others?
It is a vital part of self-empowerment that we learn to celebrate ourselves and acknowledge our intrinsic value. It is not about what we can do necessarily, it is about how we are as a person. Were we kind, loving, patient, respectful with others and ourselves? Start developing this habit until it comes automatically. That you always find the good in yourself and others.
LISTEN to the MP3 for week 2 “Self Acceptance”
Well, that brings us to the end of week 2.
Even though some of these activities seem simple, you will have discovered that they are far reaching and very powerful when you apply them, and the trick is to keep being mindful of all you have learnt so far on a daily basis so it becomes how you live. It becomes natural because it is natural. You are becoming more of who you already are. Well done. Lets check out week 3.
Week 3 – repair
This week we are going to repair some broken beliefs more specifically and do some more clearing.
Activity 1: letting go
First of all, you are going to clear out your cupboards. Our rooms and houses are a metaphor for our minds and our level of flexibility with change. Perhaps you are good at clearing out items no longer needed (not other peoples, yours !). if so then you may skip this activity or you could try going through what you currently have to see if there is anything you no longer need. Something you no longer need is an item that you have not worn forever, used for ever, you don’t really like but have been hanging onto so as not to offend someone, something that when you ask ‘ how is this enhancing my life?’ gets a null answer. Something when you ask, why am I hanging onto this? And the answer is ‘ I might use it in the future some time…’ maybe you have some items that you can sell or give away to charity. Maybe that old bike you never use could be given to a neighbour? Time to let go of things to make room in your psyche for new ideas, thoughts and experiences. Don’t underestimate the power of this task. How much do you want to change? How good are you at embracing change and letting go of outdated ways?
Activity 2: saying no
Remember the ‘terrible twos’, when children start saying ‘No”! emphatically. Then what happens? Often they are moulded into people who can’t say no because they get punished. Was this you? Did you learn to please everyone else before yourself?
This week is also about saying no where possible to everything that zaps your energy. This might meet with some resistance, but is the start of you honouring yourself. I’m not talking about suddenly ditching your job that you hate if you haven’t got another way of paying your mortgage, but you may start looking for something else you prefer. I am talking about not going out when you don’t want to, not saying yes to things you can just as easily say no to. Not taking on extra work or volunteering to help someone when your own batteries are flat.
So, what can you immediately say no to? How can you honour your needs by saving your energy for the things you really want to do? For your hobbies or interests, for spending more time with your children or partner, or reading a book by yourself? It is time to let go of any beliefs about being a ‘good girl’ or a ‘good boy’ and doing what you are told. This is time to do what moves you what inspires you, and if it doesn’t inspire you, then it doesn’t energise you.
Activity 3: getting creative
Before you say you can’t draw and don’t have a creative bone in your body, creativity is about your passion and when you are energised. It is when you are being innovative, thinking of new ideas and being inspired. This could be designing more efficient systems for a business, inventing a new contraption, playing music, making something out of leggo, the possibilities are endless. Our creative energy is our life force and when it is stifled, we feel dull lifeless, lacking in sexual drive and passionless. Not much fun! So, this week you are going to ensure you have some time to be creative, preferably in something for yourself. What do you love to do? What did you love to do as a kid if you had spare time? Did you make things? Did you explore? What did you do? How can this inform you of what you love to do now? Do you love to solve puzzles? Fix things? These are all creative pursuits so allow yourself at least a couple of hours of time this week to do what you love. This will energise you and allow your energy to flow more freely. This is also infectious. People feel better around you when you are enjoying yourself, so go for it!!
LISTEN to the MP3 for week 3 “stillness and Breath”
see you in week 4!!
WEEK 4 - RELAX
Activity 1: breathe deep and slow
Funnily enough, breathing is the most basic of things we do. We were born and took our first breath, and it has been sustaining us ever since. We can do without food and water for a certain period of time, but we cannot do without our breath for usually more than a few minutes. Our breath renews us in every moment. We are not the same person we were one breath ago. Think about it. Our breath is gold.
So why am I telling you about breathing? Many people unless they do yoga or tai chi or similar, do not breathe very deeply, nor very slowly. If you have ever gone scuba diving you will have learnt to breath slow and deep and relaxed. Same with yoga and meditation. The reason for breathing slow and deep is that it relaxes our central nervous system and our whole self. And when we are still, breathing deeply and relaxed, we gain access to our intuition, which is our heart and soul’s voice and has our best interests at heart. When you tune into your intuition you receive guidance and ideas, innovations and aha moments that recalibrate you to the most loving path for you.
What also happens when we are still and breathing deep and slow, is that we are in a healing space. All our systems can have a relax and recalibrate.
If you are out in a difficult situation, before to speak or act, take a couple of deep breaths and ask yourself what is the most loving thing you could do right now. For yourself first then others. If someone is speaking nasty to you, take a deep breath, thank them for their opinion and mentally send them some love. People who are acting mean and nasty have hearts missing a lot of love. People who are truly in a loving space do not hurt each other. If you are being verbally or physically abused, leave. Remember if you continue to do what you’ve always done, you will continue to get what you’ve always got!
Breathing deep and slow is also useful when you are driving as people can have a tendency to hold their breath especially when in traffic, this makes for road rage. So remember to breath deep and slow.
Activity 2: moving meditation
Many people cringe when they thing of meditation. They envisage, pretzel like positions and excruciatingly long periods of time where they will fidget and feel uncomfortable. I am not going to ask you to do this unless you are an experienced meditator. If you are then schedule some time in for yourself daily to do this. Preferably 30mins.
If you have no experience meditating, then this is the activity for you. This is moving meditation. All it is is paying attention to everything you do in the moment. Eg if you are eating, focus on your food, the taste, the texture and the smell, if you are cleaning your teeth, feel the toothbrush, taste the toothpaste and be totally in that experience. This starts to train your mind to be still and not off on tangents or making up stories about things. It encourages you to experience what is, in the moment. So this week be fully present with all your senses and your mind in whatever task you are doing. You will be amazed what you notice. If you feel your mind drifting off just bring it back to your task. This is the easiest way I have found to learn to quiet your mind so you can hear your intuition.
Activity 3: recharging yourself
Now that you have been kinder to yourself are breathing better and honouring the energy you are given, if you have the funds (maybe you can redirect them from going out for dinner..) book yourself a therapeutic massage and ask the therapist to be silent while you lap up all that yummy touch and fully enjoy the silence and chance to relax and breathe. If you cannot afford a massage, then do something you love. Whether it is a hobby or out in nature. Do something that energises you naturally. Make time for yourself to do this (no that you have said no to a few things you will have more time for you). Having your own time to recharge is vital to your happiness. It is part of self love.
LISTEN to the MP3 for week 4 “Self Love”
Awesome work! You have now completed module 1.
You can see how everything builds on and interweaves with each other. This is a life long practice but by the end of this program you will have strong foundations for your future, the clarity and tools for daily living and being empowered to happiness. Keep up the great work!!
See you in module 2- Illustrate. Click here to go to the content.